My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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