woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
