I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
