There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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