i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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