Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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