The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
