mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
