five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We just shotgunned beers for America
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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