I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
