I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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