no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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