I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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