all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
