let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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