So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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