goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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