the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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