please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
