Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
