is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
