You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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