we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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