That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dear god my vagina.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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