Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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