My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
