I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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