I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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