well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
