Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
