i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
