Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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