Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
