last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
