come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
