"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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