somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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