google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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