Sponge bath it is.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
