I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
