i barfeds in our rink
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
