did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
