I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
