her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
