i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
