it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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