I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
