Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
