i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
