It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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