my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
